One of the hardest things any of us will ever go through is the process of losing someone we love. Grief can be overwhelming and it is often made harder than it needs to be because of the mystery that surrounds the grieving process.
That being the case, let’s take a look at a few things no one ever tells you about grief so you can be as prepared as possible for the process.
1. Grief is more than just sadness
Many people think that grief is just a heightened version of sadness, and of course, when you are grieving, you are likely to be extremely sad, but that is not all that grief is.
People who are grieving often experience a complex array of emotions from anger to denial to frustration, which can knock them for six if they are not prepared for it.
Know that grief is complex and whatever you are feeling, it is okay to feel it.
2. Grief is often about us
Something that not enough people talk about is the fact that grief is not always about the person we have lost, not 100 percent anyway. Often, grief affects us on a personal level in that when we lose someone, we are losing a part of our life.
If we lose a husband, then we are losing the person who is our sounding board, if we lose a child we are losing our identity as another, or at least it feels that way.
It is fine to feel bad for yourself while also grieving the loss of someone because those relationships you value the most are a big part of who you are.
3. It is not always all-encompassing
Yes, there are some people who are paralysed by grief; so affected by the loss are they that they cannot even function as a normal person.
This is, however, not always the case. Some people, when they lose a loved one, can and do take it in their stride. They are sad, but they can still get on with contacting Academy Funeral Services to arrange the send off they can still see friends; they can still see a way forward. There is no knowing whether you will be one of them or one of the people who struggles more, but you need to know that both ways of experiencing grief are absolutely fine and you should not be ashamed of either.
4. It does not always get easier
It’s not easy to hear when you are going through it, but sometimes, grief does not get easier with time, it turns into complicated grief that lingers and lingers. Why do you need to know this? Because, if it happens to you, finding a qualified grief counsellor to help you through it is so very important.
Losing someone is always going to be tough, but now that you know a bit more about grief, hopefully, you will be able to get through your loss with a little more ease.
If you enjoyed this please do check out Understanding And Coping With Grief At Christmas and 8 Great Habits To Start In 2021
This is a great post! My husband lost his best friend a little over a year ago and I felt lost on how to comfort him. You truly really never know how someone handles grief, they are all so different. Well written post!!
I think one of the most common misconceptions about grief is “it gets easier” when we really just become more used to the weight of the grief as time goes on. Great post!
I lost my grandad recently and grief has been so strange, One day it feels overwhelming, and the next I don’t feel anything at all. Thank you for writing such an important post x