You have been through it all, the testing, the diagnosis, the treatment. You have spent more time in doctors’ offices and hospitals than you ever imagined. Now you are getting to the other side and you and your partner are hoping you can resume sexual intimacy.
Even though sexual relations may have been on hold for months, for many women this can be a difficult road to navigate back. You may still be tired from the treatments, and you may be self-conscious of body changes. You may have gained weight or lost hair, have scars, and are experiencing bowel changes. Let’s face it, you’re just not in the mood!
Experts suggest being patient with this phase, and as always communication with your partner is key. For example, during cancer treatment you may have had surgery to remove a body part. Having a frank conversation about this surgical area can be helpful. Do you want this area touched gently, not touched at all, or would you feel more comfortable wearing a sexy nightgown that covers this area? Having this talk before you start to engage in sexual activity may make it easier to relax during sex. Try focusing on your body parts that you like and feel good about.
Perhaps intercourse feels like too much. Instead, try cuddling, holding hands, kissing, or giving massages. Setting the mood goes along way; why not try lighting candles, and playing romantic music? Just the act of touch is healing to our body and soul and these experiences can help you feel closer to your partner.
Perhaps you tried sex again and it was painful, or you had difficulty reaching climax? Did you have vaginal dryness and tightness? These are some of the signs that it may be a good time to talk to your health care provider. You are not alone with these issues. Most health care professionals working with cancer patients have received advanced training to address just these problems.
The Academy of Pelvic Health Physical Therapy educates physical therapists who specialize in women’s pelvic health issues. Ask you provider for a referral, or you can go online to the academy at APTA Pelvic Health.
Your health care team may recommend vaginal dilators, vaginal moisturizers, and high-quality lubricants for use before or during sexual activity. There are also prescription medications that can help address these issues.
Your health care providers want to help, please reach out to them if you are struggling.
