There are just as many good reasons to get married as there are bad reasons to get married. Of course, in this respect, finding “balance” is absolutely not a good idea, as primarily good reasons to tie yourself to your partner forever will be wiser to follow. That said, it’s not always clear if a certain characteristic of your relationship is a good sign you’d be worthwhile together or not.
After all, marriage is about more than concretely declaring your love to a wonderful person admire, respect and hope to nourish over the years, but also a financial decision, a practical investment in your future, and potentially even influencing the family you’ll have in the future.
Perhaps you have a vague idea that yes, you’d like to marry this person, but when? Is now the right time to get married? How do you even decide that? Well, as any family lawyer will tell you, it pays to be certain ahead of time. Let’s consider, then, how to consider if now is the right time to get married:
Assessing Personal & Relationship Goals
It’s important to consider if your personal and relationship goals align with one another as of the moment. In order for marriage to work well, you need to be aligned in the lives you’d like to live and share.
For example, if one person really hopes to move to another country for a golden job opportunity, but their partner would never want to move that far away fro their family, this can be an issue. It’s not an insurmountable issue of course, as good relationships are built on compromise and trust. That being said, you do need to have the same, or at least similar trajectories if you’re to build something over the long term. If that square cannot be circled for now, it may be time to delay stepping up your relationship into marriage depending on how those plans turned out.
Evaluating Financial Stability
You don’t have to be affluent in any way to get married to your partner, often the registration is quite affordable and there are even many tax breaks associated with marriage. So, if you’re more than happy with the financial standing of your partner and are happy to marry them regardless, that’s absolutely your prerogative.
That said, financial worth and stability aren’t necessarily related. If you’re working through hefty debt, marriage can often tie your liabilities together and share the burden. If your partner is terrible with money or you can’t agree on financial discipline, this can be a problem. Financial stability helps you plan for a life, and so it’s important to note the degree to which you act and behave in accordance with one another’s plans.
Reflecting On Emotional Readiness
Marriage can be wonderful, but it takes a focused mind and willing attention to get right. In other words, it doesn’t “fix” a relationship, but it can lead to higher highs in every respect. It’s also a massive commitment. The vows you speak declare that you’ll be with that person no matter what. Of course, divorce is always a possibility, but no one should get married with that “out” in the forefront of their mind.
It should always be the promise of a lifelong commitment, of sharings up and downs, of being there with the person in sickness and in health. This is a lot to ask, for good reason. If you feel that you can’t quite provide for that just yet, well, at least you can wait until you are, and discuss that with your partner.
Navigating Cultural Or Religious Factors
Sometimes, it may be that you need to plan out certain considerations worth knowing before the practicalities of getting married are arranged. For example, what if you come from two different cultures with both parties hoping for a interfaith marriage? How can you balance the needs of two separate families made into a union through the marriage you’re hoping to invite them to witness? It’s more than just religion, but culture, and future planning. In some cases, marriage might be the start of a long journey to becoming a citizen. You don’t have to figure out every question before you pop the proposal, but you do need to have some understanding of how this will work and to what extent you will acquiesce to expectations – even if that just means throwing them out and moving at your own pace!
With this advice, you’re certain to consider if now is the right time to get married or not. It may take some time to achieve, but you’re sure to achieve it.
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